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If you are like me, and you consult both communities, things can get a little confusing! :)
THE HEALING PROPERTIES OF TELLING YOUR STORY
Academic and journalistic figures, like Oprah and Brené Brown, have been very progressive in their quest to advocate for the healing power of telling our true and authentic life stories. Both women have built super-empowering enterprises and, quite honestly, movements on the concept of telling your story, which I might add fits nicely into the spiritual adage of "facing your darkness" as a mechanism for "standing in your truth."
In all honesty, the philosophies of Oprah and Brené Brown resonate with me on a very deep level.
Certainly, it is the power of telling ones true story that initially motivated me to found this blog, and indeed my YouTube channel, which I created long before I ever wrote on spiritual topics or met my twin flame. In all reality, I am living proof of the fundamental truth that telling our real story, in it's full authenticity, is not only liberating, it is healing.
My collection of Peace Corps "Vlogs Uncensored," however small, set me free from the shackles of my Peace Corps experience. Talking through some of the abuse I witnessed and experienced... being heard for my truth... stopped almost all my symptoms of the PTSD I was diagnosed with when my service end. It was truly amazing. After sharing my truth, suddenly the incessant thoughts, the nightmares, and the startle-response all disappeared. There is no doubt at all; I healed from sharing my story!
THE DESTRUCTIVE PROPERTIES OF TELLING YOUR STORY
What is amazingly interesting to me is that while holding the belief that "telling your story" can set you free, I've also managed to hold just as powerful of a belief that the only way to true freedom is to leave your story behind. Ultimately, this represents the metaphysical/spiritual/"New Age" belief that, in order to achieve enlightenment, one must dis-identify with her/his story... in all of its many forms.
This spiritual perspective contains a lot of veracity. It is derived from the very VERY deep truth that we create our own reality (this is where the concept of visualization comes from). Indeed, what we think-- and what we say (to both ourself and others) repeatedly -- are heard by the universe and are actually re-created, re-manifested, in our present life. This is akin to the maxim, "what you focus on grows."
If "what you focus on grows," than telling a story in which you are a victim becomes extremely dangerous. Right?
Have you ever heard a story that goes anything like this?
"When I was a child, I grew up in this unfortunate circumstance, and then this happened to me which caused this bad thing to happen to me, which led this person to mistreat me, which led to this stroke of bad luck, which caused me this pain, which led to fear, which led me to this destructive behavior/experience/relationship that I have today."
And what have you noticed about people who tell this story? Have you noticed that they are overwhelmed with happiness and joy which bubbles over in everything they do? Have you noticed they are filled with self-love and live truly beautiful lives of prosperity and abundance?
Most likely not! You have most likely noticed that these people, who choose to see their lives in a negative light, and who focus energy on feeling victimized, are still constantly put in situations in which they are the victim.
It's not to down-play their real or perceived victim-hood, only to suggest that, by choosing to focus on being a victim, and by concentrating so much energy on their sad story about their lives, these people are actually creating more of it... more back luck, more abuse, more situations in which they are victim.
There is no way around it, we create our own reality. Eleanor Roosevelt was on to a HUGE truth when she said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
So what is one to do to live a beautiful life? Well, spiritual proponents suggest we should release our story... that we would benefit immensely from not identifying with any story, small or large, that revolves around a tale in which somehow we were victimized.
I will admit... this is not an easy thing to do! Imagine living the rest of your life without ever discussing any of your experiences in a way that made it seem that something wrong was done to you.
Could you do it? How much of what you say and think now would have to disappear? Would you have to fundamentally change your personality to accommodate this new way of being? Are you ready to take responsibility for the creation of absolutely every experience in your life?
HONORING AND RELEASING YOUR STORY
You might not believe in magic, but do you know the true meaning of the word abracadabra? It isn't just a fun phrase from Disney movies. It literally means, "I create as I speak."
And let me be clear, you have created every experience in your life! What you say about yourself and what you think about yourself will become your truth. Do yourself a favor and say beautiful things.
I know horrible things have happened to many of us. I am not immune. I have been sexually assaulted multiple times; I was just diagnosed with lupus (a lifelong disease that has no cure); next week I will find out if I have cancer; I come from a broken family; I have no relationship with one of my parents; and, all throughout my life I have been haunted and terrorized by a cadre of malevolent spirits and other-worldly begins! I get it... AND I've made the mistake of defining myself by these experiences.
At many different times in my life I have defined myself by these sad stories. I've told them publicly, I've told them privately; and, worst of all, I've told them in my head, day after day after day after day!!!!!!!
Each time I choose to make a sad story the center of my reality, something incredible happens... my sad story is recreated in the present and my life becomes sad.
So what is your story? Is it serving your highest good?
No matter your life experiences, being a victim is always a choice. Indeed, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
As I've struggled with the two opposing truths about stories, I've developed my own sort of best practice, which is this...
HONOR YOUR STORY THEN ABRUPTLY RELEASE IT
Telling your story, if you do it truthfully, IS healing. Nevertheless, telling a sad story over and over will attract more sadness in your life. If you are ready to have a more beautiful life, tell your story once, in a venue that will help others, then release it.
Your story isn't you; your story is not inherently true; your story is nothing more than one perspective on your "life"... a perspective you can change.
I genuinely believe that every experience in neutral until we place a label on it. Be careful which label you choose!
This truth has taken me a long time to understand and practice, and is probably demonstrated most poignantly in my most recent video on "The Dark Night of The Soul."
Certainly my own "dark night" was the worst experience in my soul's history, from one perspective. From another perspective, it was the most beautiful and trans-formative experience of my life. Either way, despite it's significance, my "dark night" is not the center of who I am nor does it exist in the present moment, which is the only moment that matters. So I told the story, and then released it.
It is a beautiful thing to "stand in your truth" and it is an equally beautiful thing to "release all things (people, events, beliefs, objects) that no longer serve you." What I've realized these past few months that you CAN do both: you can tell your story AND you can leave your story behind.
We often fear that, without our story, we have nothing interesting to offer the world! But recognize this fear for what it is, a fear. Also recognize the fundamental truth, borrowed from Lee and Sherry, that "fear is a lie."
Without your story, you do not have nothing to offer the world. Without your story, you have everything to offer the world.
Be Present; Be You; Be Love.
You are a spiritual being. You are NOT a story.
Love and Light,
Jess
